Movie Reviews; The Day After Tommorrow
It seems as though I have stumbled upon a new hobby- paying money for and sitting through absolutely dreadful movies. Fun! First I was assaulted by the celluloid nausea that was Van Hel-suck-my-ass-ing, now- after a wonderful trip of Indy cars and tasting the sweet bourbons of Kentucka-see- I have been bludgeoned once more by the blockbuster bloodsuckers of Hollywood with the epic piece of trash that is "the day after tommorrow". The correct title for this movie should be "the day after tommorrow...... this director has no job and is eaten by wolves", but that would be too logical. About as logical as this farce of a film about some super pissed off storm clouds and the retarded neanderthals who fight them. How destructively stupid was this film? I watched this in Sikestown, Missouri- not exactly a modern day athens- and the same sleeveless, mulleted citizens which habituate this cultural mecca all had the same blank expressions as they hopped into their Dale Earnhardt tribute Monte Carlo's that my father and I had- What the fuck was that? No, "Woo hoos! Dem Yankees got fucked!", nor "Finally those God Hating queer baits in LA got squashed by twisters!". No, just the same downtrodden, albeit confused face of someone wondering if all of the movieworld is going to hell.
Questions to ponder from this film, and I am not making this up-
How do starving, flesh-eating wolves manage to locate the 10 surviving humans in New York?
Why are they the only animals to survive Mega-Storm?
How can Mega-Storm hunt down and freeze people like an alien life force?
When you realize that the northern continents of the world are being covered with a sheet of ice, thus initiating a new ice age, do you really care whether the girl you have a crush on likes you? And why aren't you just unleashing your carnal lust on the bitch? She can't really say no at this point.
Would Americans really have a mass migration to Mexico, even if all land to kansas was an ice rink? And would Mexico really say no? "Ah, senor, we are okay with our economy of chiclets and cocaine, please keep your technology out of our 4th world country"
How will Sovay defend the merits of this piece of crap? I don't care if it outgrossed the entire GDP of Taiwan- there is no excuse, again such potential gone to waste..... sort of like CAL lacrosse '01.
And finally, how much help do I need to stop wasting so much time ranting about crappy movies to over the hill lacrosse buddies.
All for now, I'll see you at the premeire of Anaconda 2, Curse of the Black Orchid- if I'm lucky it will make me vomit
Questions to ponder from this film, and I am not making this up-
How do starving, flesh-eating wolves manage to locate the 10 surviving humans in New York?
Why are they the only animals to survive Mega-Storm?
How can Mega-Storm hunt down and freeze people like an alien life force?
When you realize that the northern continents of the world are being covered with a sheet of ice, thus initiating a new ice age, do you really care whether the girl you have a crush on likes you? And why aren't you just unleashing your carnal lust on the bitch? She can't really say no at this point.
Would Americans really have a mass migration to Mexico, even if all land to kansas was an ice rink? And would Mexico really say no? "Ah, senor, we are okay with our economy of chiclets and cocaine, please keep your technology out of our 4th world country"
How will Sovay defend the merits of this piece of crap? I don't care if it outgrossed the entire GDP of Taiwan- there is no excuse, again such potential gone to waste..... sort of like CAL lacrosse '01.
And finally, how much help do I need to stop wasting so much time ranting about crappy movies to over the hill lacrosse buddies.
All for now, I'll see you at the premeire of Anaconda 2, Curse of the Black Orchid- if I'm lucky it will make me vomit
posted by TRK at 12:57 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home