Cubicle Hades and Tales from Within- The power of Jabba

Whoa Nellie!!! If I were a wrangler of ‘stangs I would imagine I would use that term quite often- as an exclamation, an addition to a description, a command, perhaps as a term of endearment..... “She was real purdy, whoa Nellie! I tell ya, her tits were perfect!" But alas, I am not home on the range save for the open grill inside my domicile, and I certainly don't wrangle mustangs. Rather, I enter data at a meticulously slow pace so as to extract as much revenue from the company as possible while still maintaining the illusion of illustrious tenacity. As far as my cubinators around me, they have been showing themselves to be quite the memorable bunch, particularly my Garfield aficionado of a neighbor- codenamed Jabba. Why, early this morning I heard this memorable exchange between her and our mutual neighbor, adeptly applied with the moniker of Skeletor.

(Jabba) "Hey, Wow! I just figured out how to wrap text!!
(Skeletor) "Yeah, yeah!!! You know you sometimes are the girl!!"
(Jabba) "Well, sometimes help springs from eternal hope."
(Skeletor) "Sigh"

If that doesn't fire your neurons in excitement, then I don't know what will. I relate congratulating yourself on learning a Microsoft Word function to celebrating learning how to load a stapler. Not exactly the time to pat oneself on one’s back. Perhaps a reason to take ones head out of the oven? Maybe.
In all fairness I don't believe these people to be bad, sad, uncool (well.... maybe uncool but that is very preliminary), nor deserving of contempt. Rather it is their working situation, and the seeming embrace of the hopeless void of a rat raced maze of numbers and calls that I find worthy of my haughty glances. For me, the mere thought of spending more than 2 months working in a call center for a suburban bank is akin to having your flesh slowly devoured by scores of carnivorous salamanders. In other words- pure torture. Thus coming in here every day is practically a blessing as I come face to face with my greatest fear- similar to an arachnophobe spending the night in a dusty, musty cavern to cure his fear of the eight legged mosquito eaters.
In other news, Jabba ordered me to assemble some computers for her that will be put to use in the near future by the next order of trained operators. So now I am a data jockey and grunt labor for the Jab-ster. Oh the joy. When I accomplished that mighty task I felt the same euphoria you experience when you wipe your ass and don't get crap on your hand. As a result the bank of contempt towards Jabba did raise a smidge- first, she interrupted my ESPN session I was having, second- she sent me into menial tasks with a rather indirect smug matter which I promptly called her on. If she keeps this up her Garfield calendar will be but a distant memory and her tub of Taco Bell sauce will find their contents spilled upon her overwrought desk chair.
Today’s highlight moment, however, may have come when this poor older woman, who has spent way too much time answering the calls of the checking account masses, and Jabba went on a "bunny walk". It wasn't there walk that I found so uneasing- rather I found their embrace of a healthy outside endeavor to be a welcome admission that they needed to get the fuck out of this place- instead it was the shameless excitement they had in their mission to see some feral rabbits galloping around the outer lots. On their way out their conversation with Skeletor (whose slightly larger, super-cube lies near an exit) included the older woman, roughly a few years beyond my mothers age, making a gesture of a 4th grade school girl imitating a bunny. Proudly placing her fingers as ears atop her head and hopping, she and Jabba extolled their plan of action with skeletor and excitedly proclaimed how they could schedule appointments for this "adventure" every day.
I had a better idea, at this time every day, take a step back and try to observe objectively how horrible this occupation is. Then go hunt for rabbits with all the furor and terror you can muster. Ay dios mio, I need to get drunk........