Joe Ayoob is a Stanford Cardinal

It took him a while, but Jeff Tedford finally realized what I have known all along. Joe Ayoob goes to Stanfurd. In one the most brilliant and amazing Big Game pranks ever, the men of Alto were able to coerce one of their own into the Starting Quarterback role at Cal. Through a dastardly episode of events this highly touted Cardinul managed to build the hopes of alumni, fans and students to the apex of highs before cruelly thrashing them down. Relying on play that could only be deemed "retarded" or "Stanfurd-esque", Mr. Ayoob singlehandedly ruined the hopes of any Cal Backer. Bringing us up to the highest of highs with wins over teams made up of dwarves and small children, Joe systematically tore our hopes from underneath us. UCLA, a game all but won. OSU, a team begging to be beaten. A brief bit of hope against WASU, perhaps a glimmer of promise in the final minutes. Promises broken, however, in a sleet filled quagmire against the raging quacks of Orygun. By the way, David Gray is still open. And how in hell do you throw that pick at the goal line? A monkey with a slingshot would have had a better chance of getting that ball in there. Then again, a monkey with a slingshot doesn't secretly go to a rival university and play football to spite his mortal enemies. I digress, USC? Could you really do any worse? I would guess not, even the smug little shit Pete "My players have fun, rape chicks, and beat up students" Carroll could help but say Boo-ya was sure different than what he saw on tape. No shit, Pedro. On tape, you saw Ayoob playing his fans into a devious trap. Enticing them with ability and promise and JUCO player of the year accolades. Unfortunately what you saw in person was the Manchurian Candidate of the NCAA, blissfully bludgeoning any hope of decency in this incarnation of the Golden Bears. His Stanfurd mentors had played it long enough, it was time to twist the knife and drag down the Blue and Gold.
But, alas, Sir Tedford- you have proven that you are not a completely blind sociopath. And we, the Ol Blues, thank you. Steve Levy, the ball is yours. Stay away from the men in Red, even if they are wearing Blue and Gold.